Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
