he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize