I want to stick my p in your. b.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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