I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize
