Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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