Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
