Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n