...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
