sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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