Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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