She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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