and next time when you feel me up, do it right
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize