And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
