Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
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