once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
