How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Randomize
