just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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