yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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