I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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