It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
