white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
