Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Randomize
