it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
