You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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