ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
