His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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