Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
worst night to have a conscience
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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