remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
