If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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