There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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