I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
