I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Randomize
