when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
