Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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