I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
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