I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
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If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
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Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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