when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize