I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Randomize