is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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