I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
someone threw a dead crab at me
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
