Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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