You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
