i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I just googled if crying burns calories
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
