i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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