No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
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