Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
The cops high fived after they tackled you
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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