There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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