dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
