i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
her facebook's as public as her vagina
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
