she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
