She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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