just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
