my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
