i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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