I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
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