guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
