1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
