I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
