just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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