Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
