careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
