lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
