It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
