Got a toothbrush?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
BRING THE BAGELS
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize