i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize