I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
