So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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